Monday, October 6, 2008

The Pretty Duckling

As I sit here obsessing over whether my daughter will win Kiss 108's Most Kissable Baby Contest, I've stumbled upon what I believe to be the reason why so many people in this country become stage parents. It's because all parents are insane. I never knew this for fact until now. Look at us. We're all so obsessed with having the best kid on the block. We actually campaign to win radio contests that judge whose child is the prettiest. We all want the best-looking, most succesful baby that has ever emerged from a womb. We wish for pro baseball players. We wish for beautiful, intelligent women who will someday become president. Isn't that kind of strange? Shouldn't we just wish for a happy child?


Is it that we want our children to live an easier life? I guess good looks and success do make life easier on our children. Or is it that we parents are just immature children ourselves, still looking for validation?"Look what I made, everyone! Isn't it so pretty? Aren't I great at making pretty babies that do good stuff? Love me, Daddy."

As you can see, I've really thought this through. And you know what? I don't care. I don't care because I do have the cutest baby ever - at least for now. I'm not looking for validation - I'm simply providing proof of fact. I don't want anyone out there trying to say they have the most kissable baby. Because that would imply that another baby is more "kissable" than Bailey. And that's complete BS and we all know it.

Bailey may end up morphing into the ugliest toddler ever, and I am aware of this possibility. And if she does end up looking like a young Chelsea Clinton, I will have to still love her more than anything. I'll just stop entering her in radio contests and change the blog to read "Bailey Elizabeth Regan - toddler with a great personality". And then, I will gently push her towards a career that might better suit her appearance, like a welder or a beekeeper...or maybe an Olympic fencer. But for now, she is ridiculously cute and just the most amazingly beautiful baby of all time. And I will not let Matty in the Morning or any other washed-up morning zoo DJ tell me otherwise.

Here are some pictures from this weekend. Enjoy her while she's still cute...

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

No matter how bad her awkward stages may be, I think we'll still think she's perfect.

Anonymous said...

I agree Kristin all kids go through awkward stages, Lord knows mine did. Just enjoy every minute with them and love them that's all they ask. By the way the picture of Bailey in her bunny towel is adorable I just want to reach out and squeeze her and give her hugs and kisses.

Donna said...

Scott,
You crack me up. I could arrange for the cutest baby in the world to meet Rocco, the Hawaiian tropic baby grand prize winner. It's a huge trophy ! They live in Utah but Mom & Especially Dad are great Red Sox fans. Bailey will always stay as beautiful as her mom and her Nana and great grandma. It's good genes.
Donna

Andrea said...

Bailey is the cutest baby ever! I love reading the blog, Scott is so funny. I can't even imagine the prettiest baby I've ever seen having an awkward stage but it happens to all of us...BELIEVE me I know, ha ha!! Love you, miss you!

Anonymous said...

Thanks to everyone who voted for Bailey for Most Kissable Baby. Unfortunetly, she lost to some smelly boy baby. We all know this is complete bullsh*t so I won't go into it any further. I think the Republicans might have something to do with it, but I can't prove it...yet.

Anonymous said...

You know what the beauty of parenthood is? It's pure, blind love. We ALL think we have the most beautiful, kissable babies. You do, I do, and each one feels the same about their offspring. We all hope they're just a little better than we are. And you're right, they all go through odd stages. But at the end of the day, everyone loves their kissable, beautiful baby the same, and that's what makes this world go around. So, you've already won!

Anonymous said...

That was me - anonymous... I forgot to hit my name!

Anonymous said...

No offense but Abby is cuter. Mom, are you done buying her things now that you live with your kissable granddaughter? She needs new black shoes! (6.5, stride rite mary janes any style - thx!)

Anonymous said...

Oh Heather, when will you ever learn that Ferris will always get more attention and love? Sadly, Mom and Dad's skewed dispersion of love for us also trickles down to our offspring. Maybe if you were a democrat, Mom and Dad would take a more socialist approach to their love dispersion. But unfortunately, you're a conservative - hell bent on keeping the rich rich and the poor poor. See, you're poor when it comes to familial love and I am like Warren Buffet. And I'm sure as hell not going to give you any of my hard-earned love! Earn your own, damnit!

I do have some good news, though! Did you know that you can get some very nice (gently) used Stride Rite shoes at the Salvation Army? Maybe you should take Abby on down to the local Good Will and pick up a pair! I'm sure you could also find some crazy old woman there who would be thrilled to be Abby's new Grandmother and give her all the love she needs.