Bailey Phelps (minus the bong hits and dorkiness)

You: Wow, Scott hasn't posted anything in so long. Is he giving up The Daily Bailey? Doesn't he know that every day without The Cutest Baby Ever is like a day without sunshine for me? Why is he such an insensitive prick?

Me: Wow, that was harsh. Get off my ass, ok? God, I've been busy. Plus I'm in one of those open offices now at work where everyone is all up in my business. It makes it nearly impossible to do personal business while at work. Imagine that? Friggin Commies. (I kid, Comrads. I kid)

Seriously, though, things have been crazy in the Regan Roost. My new job is great, but the commute is a ferocious, fire-breathing, bitch pain in the ass. I only get to see Miss B for just over an hour a day, which rips my heart out. The good news is, we hope to move (yet again) in a couple of months. I'm not sure my commute will get any better, but the plan is to move to the South Shore, which will put us closer to all four of Bailey's amazing Grandparents (and two incredible Great-Grandparents). Plus, I will finally be able to achieve my lifelong goal to piss away every cent I have ever had on moving expenses.

Okay, on with the baby multimedia! Here is your favorite little toddler showing off her favorite new phrase while cooling down in her kickass new pool.

This next one is funny because Bailey is talking to Maggie in a high-pitched voice, trying to make her howl. But, the joke is on her. What she doesn't realize is, Maggie isn't the one who howls at high-pitched noises. Joey is the one who does that. Wow, kids can be so stupid sometimes!

Here is Bailey with her new favorite toy, the cap to the ventilation hose on our portable air conditioner. I call this one "Ventilation Hose Cap: An Introspective on Life as a Toddler in The Late 2000's".

Here is Part Two. I call this one Ventilation Hose Cap 2: Attack on Magazine Rack. It's a social commentary piece (a metaphor if you will), highlighting the futile efforts of George W. Bush in his quest to rid the world of terror and his subsequent bumbling leadership throughout The War in Iraq.

OK, it's after midnight and I am clearly losing my mind. I have to go to bed. I hope you enjoyed your precious blog update. Seriously, though, please don't give up on me! Maybe I should change the name of the blog to recapture my credibilty? I'm not sure that The Monthly Bailey would work. How about The Occasional Bailey? I know. How about: The Baby Blog That Would Be Daily if Bailey's Daddy Weren't So Lazy.

I think that will work.